Brazil turns down the volume on the obnoxious macho-culture that pays women 30% less than
men for the same job and denies them the right to reproductive choice and control of their lives.
The perverse attempt of religious imbeciles to breed themselves into a state of world domination and in the process
cause the deaths of 68.000 sane women per year around the world for the sake of their delusional religious fantasies
results in millions of unwanted children, ruined lives, high crime rates etc. etc..
In fact I often find myself being pestered or robbed by people who in a free country would have been aborted.
Brazil stops idealizing the U.S.A in general !
Uncle Sam's sticky fingers in decades past are one of the reasons 70 million people live in slums,
thanks to the all American gift of half a century of right wing military dictatorship.
On old Brazilian money One can spy evidence of "who's your daddy".
It says "The United States of Brazil" on them.
Brazil improves on its rotten education system, which puts them on par with the U.S. as having one of the most
ignorant and easily manipulated populations on earth. Citizens of advanced countries will be shocked to hear that
the nationwide standard is for kids to attend school for a puny 4 hours/day, no I'm not kidding, and that's
through high school !!! So no wonder at the plenitude of (academically) feeble minds around the nation.
Poignantly play schools are great in Brazil, in keeping with the playful, kid-appreciating, enjoy life! spirit.
Education in Brazil is especially important because here an ignorant population doesn't only fall prey
to the manipulations of corrupt politicians and violent criminals who rule 1/3 of the population with
a reign of terror, they also have to contend with the theological landscape of a banana republic hellbent
on turning the population into Religious drones of one type or another.
Take every brand of evangelical Christianity, sprinkle liberally with various Afro-Brazilian slave cults,
garnish with a healthy dose of insane fundamentalist freaks and you have the backdrop above which
the most powerful terrorist organization on earth (the Catholic church) looms like an evil spirit
(or stinking turd) with all its religious impediments to clear thinking, and under the bane of
which millions of poor souls (especially women) suffer untold horrors !
By the way, there are plenty of holocaust denial in Brazil ! oh shock! horror!
The reason though, somewhat novel, is that many have not heard of 'the war"(WW2),
Nazis or even dear ol Adolf ! Many do not know what Jews are either for that matter,
though most have heard of them thanks to the Bible ; ) All goes to the above paragraph.
Brazil redrafts "bolsa familia" and other well meaning social programs that give silly monetary
incentives to ignorant broke mothers to have as many unwanted kids as possible, conveyor belt style.
Brazil makes and enforces some modern sewer laws. That omnipresent stench of raw sewage is a bit of a turn-off,
as is the peculiar Brazilian male habit of urinating in public places. Pretty stoneagian I say.
It would be refreshing also if Brazil stopped treating the ocean as a toilet in general.
Brasil gets rid of all those ridiculous annoying "jobs" that should not exist, such as doormen, scumbags
"watching" your parked car, clerks pushing the button for you in elevators and pumping your gas at gas stations,
not to mention the army of useless high pressure sales parasites (working for a commission) descending upon you
like a load of bricks as soon as you enter any store. Full service ! Your ONLY option in Brazil !
P.S. Curious observation; In Brazil tipping and voting are mandatory as opposed to voluntary.
Having to tip in a self-service restaurant once upon a time was pretty funny I tell ya.
P.P.S. Another curious obs; Most large "cheapo" store chains (Lojas Americanas, Casa e Video etc.)
practice bait and switch techniques over 50% of the time ! (empirical evidence) Check your receipts !
P.P.P.S. 2009 update; People are still queuing in banks to pay their bills every month...unbelievable !
Brazil cuts out 3rd world police state antics, like requiring everybody to carry id at all times etc.
You can't even take a long distance bus without id.
Brazil applies the Law equally upon everyone. Up until now rich Brazilians have grown accustomed to
being able to buy immunity from the rule of law. Recent high profile examples are the billionaire
Daniel? Dantas getting away with racketeering and the case of wealthy Brazilian relatives of the US boy
Sean Goldman getting away with child abduction. To this I might add the apparently VIP treatment that
wealthy detainees get when they are arrested. I am told they get a special,"civilized" cell
(apartheid from the riff-raff) while they wait for the bribes to work their way through the system.
Brazil's billionaires also have a tendency to be self-aggrandizing assholes (Batista), no philanthropy in sight!
Brazil works its way down the list of "most crime ridden place on earth". Everyone knows that life is cheap in
south America but in a "land of tomorrow" one should not have to fear losing body parts, sold to the highest bidder
if checking in to a hospital, nor should one have to put up with some bandit jumping the cue by putting a gun to the
head of a physician and saying "treat me now". This apparently is so common that physicians refuse to work in many
hospitals around Rio. One should also not have to fear for one's life if choosing to live in a house instead of Rio-style
concrete bunkers (apartments) with bars on the windows. Not being able to withdraw money from an ATM after 22:00
because of the high levels of extortion kidnapping is also not most people's idea of utopia !
Add to that everyone speeding through red lights at night (with their headlights turned off!!!?) because of
the fear of imminent bandit attack if stopping, coupled with generally lax laws on murderers and violent
criminals is likely to cause even the most optimistic patriot to consider going on permanent holiday
If One had the right hardware (which would be hard to find in Brazil) One could undoubtedly kill anyone One
wanted to all the way up to the president, with impunity. One can get away with it as there is no "C.S.I.- Rio"
in Brazil. The 40.000 (forty thousand) assassinations per year are treated more like road kill than "who dunit"
investigations. As the bodies hit the floor, the main concern in this tropical climate will be "Get this cadaver off
the street before it stinks up the place, pela amor de Deus (for the love of God)". "Graças a Deus (Thank God) there
is only one cadaver!". "You are right about that Sir, fica com Deus(be with God), I'll see you tomorrow, se Deus quizer
(God willing)". "OK, Vai com Deus(go with God) and be safe meu irmao". "Yes, I will, and good night to you, dorme com Deus
(sleep with God)". "Tchau". The above are the most common expressions in Brazil and would be the ones uttered on those
dirty God forsaken streets all over the Country. All I have to say about that is, Meu Deus no Ceu !!!....Allah Akbar!
The above may inspire comments like "life is short & cheap" or "life is precious and unique", take
your pick. Either way it does create this gnawing urge to leave despite the black cloud having a silver
lining (an otherwise relaxed & friendly vibe) as one gets tired of having to look over one's shoulder
every minute of every day. I try to spend only a couple months a year in this town for that reason.
The odds of being knocked off by some Dildo with a pea-sized brain & a gun are just too high.
Brazil improves on its road culture (or lack of it). I'm not sure exactly what is required to get
a traffic fine in Brazil. Running red lights with your headlights turned off doesn't qualify, nor does
speeding, cutting people off or weaving all over the place as if Go-kart racing. Staying in your lane
is considered as ridiculous as using your indicators. You can do all of the above right in front of a
police car with NO risk of being pulled over as the cops are as 'out to lunch' as everybody else.
The Police drive as poorly as the rest of the populace as they have very little training (in anything) and
"professional" is an exotic concept, they drive with the all the emergency lights perpetually turned on
and turn on the siren when they get tired of rush hour traffic but, ironically, few bother pulling aside.
Driving schools actually do exist in Brazil, I just don't know what they teach, probably the same
as the public schools...nothing. It all makes more sense when you realize that many people actually
buy their drivers licenses...corruption...in...action...Drunk driving is the norm, not an exception.
Most will not hesitate to go down one-way streets the wrong way, at night, with the headlights turned
off of course. Why? dunno, my suspicion is that these boneheads think that they are 'saving' electricity
and therefore money...and of course driving 'stealthy', 'incocnito' with all your lights off at night
and your windows (including the windshield) tinted to 80% makes your car invisible to accidents and/or
the Police....ooops, forgot that you don't have to worry about the Cops...it makes you invisible to God!
That's it! See! how just a little bit of brainstorming solves even the most mysterious of Rio conundrums!
Yielding to an ambulance with flashing lights & sirens is also considered optional, by the way.
Tailgating is common, but not quite as bad as in Europe which of course is the world's premier hemorrhoid culture (especially
Germany and Austria) where tailgating at a 100 mph is considered perfectly normal, as are generally
aggressive and neurotic driving habits perpetrated by a population inevitably and always high on Nicotine.
Also, if driving around Brazil be sure to bring the Hummer. Leave the Ferrari at home. It would not
get very far due to 1' high, often unmarked, car breaking "speed bumps" liberally distributed by
the government in the least likely places. Also be prepared to pay toll for potholed 2 lane roads.
2012 note; In less than 24 Hrs of looking out my window I see 3 people dead in the street in different
accidents thanks to Brazilian street behaviour, drivers & walkers equally to blame.
Brazil doesn't have the 15 us cents per gallon gasoline of Venezuela, but it is the world leader
in alternative fuels. Traffic in B stinks less than in other parts of the world due to a large % of
vehicles running on natural gas and alcohol. In fact traffic smells like your average bar !
The alcohol (ethanol) culture unfortunately is anything but ecological or enlightened,
as the fuel is extracted from the cane fields at enormous environmental and human cost,
not much changed since the slave days.
Brazil also has an immense bus culture, buses everywhere !
Caveat; Most bus drivers seem to feel that they are Ayrton Senna incarnate, so hang on for your life !
You also feel like you're entering a prison, squeezing through narrow gates that count the passengers,
as employees (in this case the cashier) in Brazil obviously cannot be trusted not to rob their employer !?
There is a Metro & an amazing amount of taxis, so there's no need to have a car in RIO (except for hauling stuff).
Another reason not to own a car in Brazil are the ridiculously prohibitive cost of buying a vehicle.
It is roughly double or triple the USA. Taking into account Brazilian wages the cost is over 10 x higher.
This is caused by Brazilians apparently being willing to give car manufacturers a high profit margin on top of sky
high auto taxes. This of course cuts down tremendously on traffic. Very ecological ! (I wish that was the reasoning)
Brazil wakes up from its insane tax (& tariff) culture. Your socialist republic is BROKEN Mr. Lula !
Not that it ever was the envy of any nation (except Mozambique perhaps), but by having the world's highest taxes
one is led to believe that Brazil's middle class would be the principal one and that poverty had been eradicated.
A quick look around reveals the opposite, the poor in fact being the main class in society, as if it was still a right wing
dictatorship. Where is all that tax money going ? Obviously not to the "welfare state" that the tax rates would imply.
I assume all that tax bullion is supposed to trickle down through the public sector, but looking at any public school
or hospital it's quite obvious the loot goes missing somewhere along the way, perfectly in keeping with basic 3rd world
tradition, into the deep pockets of some corrupt greedy bastard. Good ol Brazil still has far greater social & income
inequality than most countries in the world, including the capitalist ones.
A few examples of the consequences of all those excessive VAT type consumption taxes are ;
Brazil has the highest mobile (80 USA cents/min for a local call !) and fixed phone rates in the world, roughly 10x higher
than Europe or the USA. Cars, electronics & wine are about triple, internet and books are roughly double the cost
that they are in the rest of the world. Gasoline is $4/gallon ($1/liter), like Europe.
All this is in absolute dollar terms ! Now imagine these costs in a country that has an average (not minimum) wage
roughly 10x lower than the USA !!!
So in purchasing power terms these things are priced like Russian caviar !
Cars & Real Estate are things that most can only dream about owning in their lifetime.
A Honda Accord type basic "nice" car will cost a Brazilian roughly 10 yrs of gross income (average wage) !
I really wonder why people put up with it ? Revolution ? Lula ? are you afraid ???
.... maybe you should look into the corruption and the price fixing rackets by cartels and big business that
creates the collusion in prices of everything from cell phone rates to cars & electronics as well Mr Lula?
The only reasonably cheap products are basic survival foods (rice & beans) that the state maintains
reasonably cheap by government force for fear of starvation scandals breaking up the rackets.
Bottom line = something's gotta give ! Either prices in Brazil will collapse, or wages will rise astronomically.
The current situation is a 'reductio ad absurdum', as simple as that.
I guess Brazilians are just super crafty (jeitinho ;) people because I see lots of cars on the roads, plenty
of electronics in the homes (even in slums !?), mobile phones in every pocket...I'm still scratching my head man.
Oh, and interest rates are double digit by the way (Brazilians also pay the highest credit card interest rates in the world)
so normal mortgages are basically unheard of. When buying a property, by the way, you are on your own. Title companies do
not exist. You basically have to do everything a Title company does on your own, or pay "a guy" to do it. This is quicker
than the years it would take you to fight the bureaucrats. He will use traditional tactics like "connections", pay-offs etc.
2009 Update: Now here's a fabulous tidbit that I don't want to forget, hence this note.
During the great power blackout of 2009, when most of the Country was plunged into darkness,
in Sao Paulo there was one lone point of light illuminating the dark city. It was a counter board,
counting how much tax the Brazilian people have paid so far this year. I'm rolling on the floor man,
that is so sublime ! Also supremely ironic, I say, as all those truckloads of tax money are supposed to
maintain the power grid in tip top shape !
Psssiu...Lula...pssiuu...I have a suggestion ! Why don't you do what other countries that have extreme consumption taxes do,
scrap income & capital gains taxes, become a tax haven ! Just joking dude ; ) I guess it's a good thing to keep all of the
above taxes after all, it may not be good for the economy or the people, but at least then Brazil is no.1 in something !
+ it's very ecological, I'm all for it actually, you have my vote. Sticking with that creed I do implore that Brazil leave
those newly discovered "biggest oil deposits in the world" off the Rio coast alone. Extracting all that oil and burning it
is a sure death sentence to this planet. Fortunately for planet earth Lula is an anti-consumption environmentalist and
will surely leave that oil alone ; )
It IS ironic though that a "socialist" government would make the lives of poor people unduly harsh by slapping such an excessive tax burden upon them.
This fiscal excess has of course created a black market of cheap tax free goods smuggled from neighboring (normally priced) Paraguay.
peddled by street vendors (camelôs) throughout Brazil. The government clamps down on these guys confiscating their wares, with the
excuse that they are merely enforcing the law. The truth of course is that the tax addicted government is being deprived of their "drug".
This motivation is fairly transparent although anti-piracy media campaigns on TV will try to convince you otherwise, equating the buying
of a pirate DVD with bank robbery. The cause of the intellectual property rights holders overseas most certainly is the least of the
government's concerns, but it makes for a convenient excuse. The motives for this very selective enforcement of this particular
"irregular" situation among hundreds of seemingly far more pressing ones in Brazilian society begs the question, who is robbing whom ?
On top of all this Brazil suffers from state controlled banking and capital controls as well as endemic corruption,
incompetence and BUREAUCRACIES that would keep even the best of countries in the gutter forever. I'm not sure
where these immense bureaucracies, rules and regulations originate from as following even the most basic laws or
logic seems against Brazilian DNA as evidenced by everything from driving habits (running red lights, not using
headlights at night, both standard behaviour in Rio) to corrupt politicians and a million other things. The Brazilian
soul is anything BUT Bureaucratic. The funniest thing is that these bureaucracies, rules n regulations are often
zealously enforced in the weirdest of situations/locations as if desperately trying to make up for the general chaos
in Brazil in silly and irritating token fashion, like having to wear a life jacket while snorkeling in a clear water
spring for example, there are many more examples....these people are LOST....! The more I ponder the subject the
more it makes sense actually. Unmanageable bureaucracies are after all a corrupt politicians best friend, their
lifeblood, a tangled web to hide their evil deeds behind.....Voila! SOLVED !
A note on the banking culture: Cost of an international bank wire in the west=$20, cost in Brazil=$275.
Brazil is also the only country I've heard of that that does not allow you to transfer money abroad in
local currency. The reason of course is the scam culture, they force you to exchange your funds with
them (and loose a few K $ on a rip-off exchange rate) instead of getting a normal interbank rate abroad.
At least Brazil is giving it a shot these days as One can see serious attempts by well meaning law enforcement and
investigators on the nightly news nailing one corruption scam, racketeering operation or dirty cop gang after another.
You do get the feeling though that the poor bastards are trying valiantly to hold back the tide with a 2x4....?
It is indeed a shame that a substantial part of the riches gained from Brazil's raw materials extraction
industry is going to subsidizing corruption and inefficiencies. The people of this country MUST shake the air
of complacency regarding the overwhelming government bureaucracies that plague this nation. This mentality is a
legacy of the military dictatorship which conditioned the Citizens to consider the Government all powerful and
to believe one has no choice but to be subservient to it. Interestingly, and poignantly, none of the torturers,
murderers or human rights abusers of that regime have ever been brought to justice. It is high time this
mentality of authoritarian impunity is exorcised for good out of the National psyche, like a stinky fart that
has been lingering for way too long..... overstaying it's welcome by decades.
Brazil lowers the outsized wages of Politicians and subjects them to the kind of scrutiny, oversight and
accountability needed to control an unruly child. That way the job wouldn't be such a magnet for every scumbag
with corrupt intent out there ! This applies especially to the Billy-Bob small-town politicians.
Brazil STOPS cutting down the bleedin rainforest (Amazon AND Atlantic) !
It is NOT the way to the future, it is the way of the past, and practiced by self centered,
planet raping, strip harvesting, ghastly freak nations of yesteryear. NOT to be emulated !!!
Brazil now wants developed nations to pay for protecting the Amazon !?!
That does not seem to jive with Brazil being the great emerging BRIC nation of
Brazilian popular psyche. Is not the great land of tomorrow capable of refraining from
committing this gruesome rape on its own ? (all those tax-billions...?) I guess not...
Funniest thing is, Brazil is contemplating restricting access to the Amazon by foreigners
saying "it's ours" "It's ours !". Well, it seems you can't even protect it on your own, you
fucking Dillweeds ! Or could it be that B is not the emerging economic powerhouse of popular myth ?
One would expect an emerging "land of tomorrow" of 200 million people to have more than 2 large corporations, no?
Have you ever heard of a Brazilian car brand ? A Brazilian technology brand ? A Brazilian invention ? A leading
University ? ... You can't really be expected to be taken seriously based on runway models and football alone.
At least B is a fair bit ahead of African basket states that need help tying their shoes and brushing their teeth,
but it would be awesome to see B actually take the lead in something. This is your opportunity ! It will be greatly
appreciated by posterity ! TRY to do it (save the Amazon & the World) without the help of "the white man". OK.
Brazil stops dubbing foreign language TV shows and films ! (a common, goofy worldwide phenomenon)
This is just fuckin irritating ! plus it kills an opportunity for Brazilians to get used to hearing other languages.
Only in movie theaters do they not destroy the original soundtrack.
....oops, I forgot, half the population is illiterate, they can't read subtitles...nevermind.
Some improvement on the TV weather reporting would be fantastic also. It looks like something out of the 1960s.
There is something called satellite & computers these days. At least the Globo news reporting is world class.
An odd TV phenomenon for such a disgustingly religious country is the plenitude of programs that feature a squad of
scantily clad dancing cheerleader style bimbos "supporting" just about any show, unthinkable in the western world.
In keeping with this fabric of Brazilian culture I think adding another public holiday to the already crowded holiday
calendar would be most appropriate and appreciated by young & old, rich n poor alike, "Bimbo appreciation Day"!
Another peculiar show I must not fail to mention, in the context of weird stuff, is the "Programa do Jô".
It is the main talk show in Brazil and is a goofy carbon copy of the Tonight show or Late show, copied all the way
down to the cup on the table and the comments from the band leader/sidekick. Joe is an intelligent man with a
sharp wit but he looks like a cross between the Fat Bastard (Austin Powers) & Santa Claus + dresses like
a Circus clown with giant glasses but despite all this it falls flat as he's about as funny as a train wreck.
Now that's some wild whacky stuff !...as Johnny Carson would say.
Brazil has also carbon copied a bunch of other silly shows off USA TV, everything from Big Brother to Wheel of Fortune.
There's about half a dozen main channels on network TV (like the USA), with Globo being the big one.
Globo in fact is the 5th largest media company in the world ! only trailing the big 3 in the US and the BBC.
Brazil gets some collective psychotherapy in regards to the inferiority complex induced oversensitivity
to any criticism of Brazil, be it Red Bull F1 jokes about what to respond to with a "no", when in Brazil, or
today's joke by Robin Williams saying Rio got the 2016 Olympic games by unfair competition, sending "50 hookers
and a pound of blow". Then there's last year's scandal about the Hollywood film "Turista", a horror flick depicting
organ traffickers in B. What's it gonna be next year..? The internationalmanofmystery's Rio page? None of the above examples
are anything more than people calling a spade a spade, jokes inspired by REALITY. hehehe. What can I say...Theeerapy !
This suggestion really is no joke as, apparently, the Rio Olympic committee today said it is considering suing Robin
Williams !!!??? Ever heard of free speech ? I guess that's a "first world thing", nevermind. The more I think about it
there really is a phenomenal, almost neurotically persistent defensiveness in Brazil, leading the national psyche into
a state of chronic denial of anything being awry in the nation. I'm specifically remembering the midair collision
between a US private Jet and a Brazilian Airliner. The fault of the disaster obviously laying squarely on the shoulders
of 3rd world military operated Brazilian air traffic control, but, of course, they tried to blame the US pilots...
surprise...surprise. Another example is the most popular line of all whenever discussing geo-politics; "..but every
country in the world has violence". This is kind of like saying "every Country in the world has money", well yeah,
there are a few pennies in Laos, ...so that must mean that Laos is equal to Japan ? Yep, Brazilian logic, or just another
example of how hard it is for some to accept that when it comes to gratuitous violence Brazil, and the rest of Latin America,
are very very VERY Wealthy indeed ! The derailed patriotism, or whatever you want to call it, is mainly due to ignorance
of course, as everything they know about other Countries is from Hollywood films or news disasters. This blindfolded Patriot
phenomenon is not unique to Brazil of course, but it seems especially naive/tender here. Many Americans also live on their own
twisted plain of reality with masses of brainwashed right wing rednecks harboring equally naive delusions of grandeur.
Try to tell them that the European economy is bigger than the US' or that standards of living are higher in
northern Europe than in the USA and be prepared for an ignorance induced, almost religious, chauvinistic tirade, hehehe,
more of a superiority complex dysfunction than the Brazilian inferiority dysfunction. The end result though,
is the same. Open your eyes guys ! It's OK to be somewhere in the middle of the chain. You need not be the first
or the last link, as long as you're not the missing link! hehehoheyyyBAHAhoYYEAHH!!
Trying to work on that sense of humor as well might be helpful. It will get the reality closer to the myth,
that Brazilians are relaxed laid back people, and will lessen the risk that the populace need seek therapy
for the dreaded BPD (Boring Personality Disorder), a very difficult disease to cure indeed ; )
.......And stop taking yourselves so seriously, nobody else does.
Brazil stops paying excessive attention to color. In a country where over half the population are
mongrels it is surprising how racist the national psyche still is. The weird angelification of "white" was
never more irritatingly obvious than when a fat black woman laid eyes on my son and exclaimed, with that baby
loving shriek, "Oh my God, he looks just like Jesus !" Hmmm I did not know our lord n savior was Scandinavian,
I guess you learn something new every day. But seriously, it really is amazing that out of the daily 30 !!! or so
compliments about 25 will include how "beautiful and white" he is. Come on Bozos ! listen to yourselves !
I guess this explains the distorted race statistics that reflect this desire to be whiter than you are.
My own subjective race stats using the ol` "eyeometer", would show demographics as 5% white, 5% black,
5% Native American, 20% Hispanic, 65% mixed. The term "Hispanic" is not used in the Latin world for the above
mentioned reasons. They like to think of themselves as "white", which means that people of Portuguese heritage
will check the "white" box in any survey, as will people who are, let's say, 50% Portuguese, 30% native and 20% black.
That's an interesting concept of "white", kind of the reverse of the USA where you are "black" if you have 10%
Negro ancestry, forget the other 90%.
Brazil cuts out the bizarre custom of giving Teutonic surnames as given names
as well as using first names from cultures that have nothing to do with Brazil.
English & Russian first names seem especially popular, inevitably butchered both in spelling
and pronunciation as the culturally clueless lower classes among whom this habit is rampant
are oblivious to the origins of their names. They simply pick it out of thin air or out of
the credits of some foreign film or whatever...it's an absurdly funny phenomenon !
The mispronunciation is what makes the whole thing worthwhile though. Judith is a killer example.
It is pronounced "Ju Jitsu" (yes, like the martial art) and Brad becomes "Predjee" hehehe. That's as close
as they get ; ) It is probably also the only place in the world where you can have a Dutch family name as your
first name and nobody blinks an eye !!! Try "van der Ley". "Hindenburg" and "Wellington" are popular also...no kidding !
Mr. Ed Nilsson will be proud to hear that in the land of tomorrow they've combined his first & last name into a
fabulous first name "Ednilson". Truly challenging to keep a straight face when you meet a black dude with that name !
Oh, there are lots of black Erics (pronounced "Eeriiki") & Ericas as well, of course, and many Jaksons.
The most hilarious part comes when I "Latinize" my name and add an "o" ...the inevitable response will be
"..but...Ricardo is not a gringo name ! what's your name really ? ".....hehehe, yeah.
At least it's just funny as opposed to Orwellian pathetic as it is back in the Motherland,
Portugal, where they have a short list of Government approved names of Portuguese heritage
ONLY that you are allowed to use !!!... I know...too bizarre to be real.?!..but it IS !
The Portuguese language is also hell-bent on re-naming every city and Country in the World.
Have you heard of Nova Iorque? how about Tóquio? why not swap the "n" in Berlin for an "m"
and drop the "d" from Madrid, Yeah that sounds better, Madri, the new Capital of Spain !
In keeping with that, why don't we henceforth refer to Rio de Janeiro as "River of January"
and Sao Paulo as "They are Paul". I look forward to seeing package holidays to "River of January"
in the travel agents' windows all over Manhattan, Nova Iorque, and Londres, England on my next visits! heheheh.
Oh, and another great one is the English sport "football" which has been pidgin-Portugizized into.....
"Futebol" !!!! Yeah !!! Why not be consistent and translate it (like all of the above)... "Pebola" !
I'm glad to be of assistance, all I'm asking for is consistency, you're welcome, carry on...
On your visit to Brazil ask someone to say "smart phone", it will crack you up!..."ismakchtchifooni"
2012 Update, and reflection on chauvinist hate-mail ;-) received from time to time.
The funniest thing are the most simplistic expressions of banal chauvinism put forth by the average, ignorant, well-meaning Brazilian patriot,
here's one that I hear frequently, in fact so frequently I suspect it must be part of some official political agenda or maybe it was expressed
in some 'Novela' that I missed:
"Brazil is too big to be able to administer efficiently and you just can't compare a new
Country like Brazil to European Countries that have had centuries or millennia to evolve".
Now that one always makes me fart with bafflement. Last time I checked the USA, Canada & Australia were the same size or bigger than Brazil and
seem to functioning OK, relatively speaking. The aforementioned are also "newer" than Brazil. So....a small country, a historic country
(with LOTS of time to evolve) in Europe should be working flawlessly, an epitome of prosperity and cooperation = Greece....!...??? OK.....
BTW, it is actually the "newest" Countries in Europe that are working the best.
The smallest Countries in Latin America tend to be the most thoroughly fucked-up ones.
Brazil actually has lots in common with Greece (& the PIIGS) and is probably heading down a similar path;
protected professions, wasteful public sector, corruption, tax evasion and...the Pope.
Drug trafficking and gun violence is another popular excuse, but guess what, the U.S. has more of both.
In fact the stream of never-ending completely lame-ass, idiotic excuses can be compared to what comes out of your bunghole after a night of binging
on red hot Indian curry and some strong mixed cocktails. I wonder if these chauvinists ever actually reflect upon what they say, probably not...
2012 re-affirmation in a nutshell:
I maintain that the real reason for Brazil not being what it might be is corrupt Latin mafia culture conditioned by the Catholic Church to be subservient
to authority, hence the penchant for dictatorships throughout the Latin world be it southern Europe or Latin America. Also, a strong theocratic tradition
that loooves to ignore human rights seems to have led to inefficient red tape state control of every part of life once they turn 'democratic' with 'freedom'
in all its forms being the last priority. In B this inefficient Government beast is serviced by an immense army of over-paid public sector drones maintaining
an Ocean of red tape for a living. This is why the most desirable jobs in Brazil (contrary to any advanced Nation) are Government do-nothing jobs that allow
these parasites to leach off the overburdened Brazilian taxpayer for life, yes these are "protected" professions dished out for life to the "deserving" as one
would expect in a 3rd world dictatorship. Beyond costing Brazil Billions of $$$ a year in unnecessary and over-inflated public sector wages (like Greece & Italy)
this bureaucratic monster severely undermines the future of the Nation. These inefficiencies are subsidized by an economy based on exporting commodities and layer
upon layer of taxes that makes everything twice as expensive as almost anywhere else in the World. Using state-controlled firms and taxpayer subsidized loans to
build up industries that are protected by high import tariffs smacks of protectionist anti free-trade shenanigans. I wonder why the rest of the world isn't coming
down on Brazil like a load of bricks as they do on China for unfair trade practices, currency manipulation etc. Brazil actually has a lot in common with the "BRIC"
powerhouse China. Like China Brazil is a currency manipulator that through central bank intervention refuses to let its currency rise because it is, like China,
a primitive, protectionist export economy. Brazil though is growing at a fraction of the Chinese pace being the poorest performing of the so called "BRIC"
Nations (growing at 1 % this year), Link, Link. Capital controls and intrusive meddling in the economy by economically unsophisticated government bureaucrats,
from the president on down, has also made Brazil one of the most business-unfriendly Countries in the World. Studies show that in Brazil it takes
18 steps to accomplish something that in Singapore takes 2. Also incredible real estate bureaucracies (personal experience). Being 100% mono-lingual
(difficult to find anyone who speaks 1 word of English) doesn't help business either. More new investment is now flowing to Latin American countries such as
Mexico, Chile, Colombia and Peru that hitched their economic stars on free-trade deals, rather than Brazil's protectionist model. All four are growing faster
than Brazil. Having a Commodities export and (domestic) services economy that lacks any real value added manufacturing based on patents and innovation also leaves
Brazil very vulnerable to any slowdown in the rest of the world. The new middle class that is responsible for the illusion of newly found Brazilian prosperity is
in fact mostly an artificially created phenomenon not unlike the Real Estate scene in the developed World pre-financial crisis. Millions of citizens gorging
themselves on this new thing they've discovered and which has recently been made available to them in excess called 'Credit' is mostly responsible for the new
'middle class' (and the coming credit bubble & following collapse). Deja-vu sub-prime. I guess Brazilians didn't learn anything from watching the show in the rest
of the World...I've coined the crisis to come the "dez vezes sem juros"-crisis.
Then watch the "real" (currency) fall off a cliff like your favorite base jumper (without a parachute).
Inflation is FAR higher than the laughable 5% that the government admits to! Add to that the stalling economy and say hello to your ol friend STAGFLATION.
B won't be able to QE their way to economic growth(not that that's an option in Brazil) as the problem is the bureaucratic quagmire, taxes and systemic
dysfunction + corruption, stagnation, inefficiency, red tape etc etc... Until all that is addressed there will be no long term economic growth.period.
Slashing interest rates is a futile exercise....weakening the currency is a futile excercise and brazils version of QE (exessive lending through
government controlled banks to create the illusion of consumer strength and economic growth) is a futile excercise.
B will need to get rid of Dilma & Guido (dumb & dumber) at the helm and their arrogant mis-management of the economy for things to improve.
Brazil is heading for troublesome times.....
Do not despair however, there are Brazilians with their head on straight, few and far between they are,
but they do exist, thousands of them actually and their numbers can only grow as the world becomes more and more globalized,
they may soon even outnumber the numb-nuts and turn Brazil into a country worth living in Today instead of daydreaming of the "Land of tomorrow".
If you still feel you need to contest my fantastically erudite insights about Rio de Janeiro please do not hesitate to drop me an e-mail,
I am always here for you, BUT before you e-mail me bitching about the existence of freedom of expression and blaming Me for what's wrong
with Brazil please know that I will insult anyone I want to, offend whomever I please and say "Fuck You" to who deserves it.
I did not make Brazil the most expensive, corrupt, bureaucratic, violent, religious and dirty Country in the World.
Dude...I'm just the observer. Chill !
This page has turned into a Blog My God !